Last year I became a meringue

Like a thunderclap it happened, in the street

One morning, doing everyday business

Thoughts wandering

And I realized it was true

Heads turned in the high street

As I walked the dog

In the supermarket, cream, jam

And canned fruit

Vibrated with the anticipated pleasure

Of potential culinary union

I got the best seats at sporting venues

So I appeared in all the TV shots

But it was a bit trying when

People in the stands behind

Kept on picking bits off me

People forgot that I was hard on the outside

But soft on the inside

I came second on strictly come dancing

Dazzling white, the public loved

How sweet I was

Almost floating on air

Travelling first class was fun

Sipping champagne compared

To being squashed on sticky economy seats

With all those baggage limitations

It was a step too far however

To enter in ‘I’m a celebrity,

Get me out of here

When in the second day faced with

Rhino balls for tea

Instead they all ate me

So, now just being a few sugary crumbs

I only have enough energy

To gasp the moral of the tale;

Being a celebrity dessert is fun for a while

Until the time one strains each time to smile

And being licked becomes rather vile.