What we do and who we are

I write this a few days after the sustained US and Israeli strikes began on Iran, fearing that this will take us further towards (or perhaps further into) World War III. History will tell and judge, and the polemical bonfire and sparks are like to blaze and spit for a long time.

This blog post is however about another polemical subject, one of the most pronounced now: how we treat and judge transgender people. This touches our identity and core beliefs and has increasingly been reduced to simple soundbites without appreciating the various and at times contrasting angles. The post has been evolving slightly based on feedback and may continue to do so.

Gender dysphoria has been formally recognized since 2013 but medical and psychological views have evolved on the issue for the last 50-70 years. An estimated 0.5%-1% of adults in the USA, with significantly higher rates (up to 5%) among younger generations.

The current US Administration – echoed by governments and political movements in parts of Eastern Europe, Russia, and some other conservative states elsewhere – has generally framed transgender issues through the lens of biological sex as fixed at birth, prioritizing what it describes as “women’s rights”, parental authority, religious freedom and military readiness. They argue that this protects fairness (e.g. in sports, where a person who has grown up beyond puberty as a biological male will have an unfair physical advantage in size and muscle development compared to biological female), safeguards children and women, and preserves institutional clarity. For example, there have been cases where transwomen with penises who are prisoners have been moved to female prisons and raped other women, or simply cases where women in changing rooms and toilets feel uncomfortable or that their space is invaded. ‘Gender-critical’ feminists tend to lead such critiques, sometimes claiming that this can represent a twisted continuation of male and patriarchal dominance.

Conversely, those supportive of trans rights suggest that such policies and approaches may undermine civil rights, medical autonomy, and the safety and dignity of transgender people. The United Nations (UNAIDS) held a thematic session on reducing health inequalities for transgender people in June 2023. Studies estimate that transgender people, particularly transwomen, are 13 to 66 times more likely to be HIV-positive (the global average prevalence is 19-20%), given their specific vulnerabilities and situation: many may be sex workers, have unprotected (including anal) sex, and/or inject drugs. This is exacerbated by poverty and stigma and discrimination. Their condition may be aggravated by the latter, meaning that through fear of scorn, abuse, aggression or worse they are a lot less likely to seek healthcare or HIV prevention. There are multiple HIV epidemics but that among transgender people represents one of the most extreme.

The issue is not however a question of clear-cut 'sides', which is precisely why I am writing about it. What do we do, for example, in the case of communal changing rooms segregated by sex? A transperson may be scorned in one and in the other make people feel ill at ease. This exemplifies the challenge that society faces, but I don't think we can 'turn back the tide': we need to find solutions. The challenge is always time but we should maintain respect: to adapt, to permit mistakes and learn, to safeguard and to assure dignity.

2-4 March 2026

Non-binary and gender fluid figures have existed in countries like India far longer than Western terminology, for example the hijra, which exists on other continents (e.g. ‘two-spirit’ traditions among indigenous North American traditions). Anonymous surveys today suggest 2-8% of men report sexual interest in transgender women, and also (in some studies in the US, Latin America and Southeast Asia) that 20-40% of male clients of transgender female sex workers have identified as heterosexual.

A Quaker friend who is a transwoman suggested it is important to consider the concept of transmisogyny, which although relating principally to transphobia and misogyny also points to a much wider intersectorality related with transpeople (touched upon earlier in relation to HIV vulnerability). She also pointed out that the proportion of transmen and transwomen is roughly 50-50, but that attention tends to focus principally on transwomen (often implicitly as “devolved men”) – which is another indication of how society tends to focus on masculinity as superior to femininity. She added that whatever genital organs people may have, they may have a functional erectile apparatus, or indeed simply fingers, that could be employed for aggression.

I think it makes more sense to avoid ideology and base our approaches on evidence and a harm reduction approach rather than denial or criminalization (we might similarly consider climate change, abortion, assisted dying, and addressing drug use). Unfortunately we tend to think in black and white terms and be fearful of the ‘other’ – as well as perhaps ourselves.

Some people who change gender may refuse to acknowledge in any form what some call their ‘deadname’ before they transitioned. This may be understandable and reasonable in the present, but I don’t think we can deny our past (to the anguish, grief and even ostracization of some parents). Nor can we ignore the potential security challenges, nor the embarrassment and awkwardness inflicted upon an individual, arising in the case when a country legally requires someone’s sex at birth to appear in an passport even if they have transitioned.

It comes down to what we do and who we are. Most transgender people I know are fully aware of and sensitive to these issues, in fact much more than me with their lived experience; I openly acknowledge the limitations I have writing on the subject. We are messily human and constantly struggle with our identities, which are multiple. Reducing people to one, or a label, denies them their humanity.

I am happy to call someone what they want to be called and let them lead their lives in liberty if they do not impinge on others.

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